Aftercare can be done anytime after you have had a particular rough or emotionally intense sex play or scene. Each person, of course , is different and what they need. A good Dominant always gets to know the submissive beforehand enough to know what they need. Also, just because you are a Dominant doesn’t mean you know everything. Ask them, “Do you like this? ” or “More of this?”. Aftercare is after something super intense has happened to the submissive either emotionally or physically or both. It’s okay at this point to not be aggressive and rough. The submissive needs that gentle , protective side to come out.
One of the best things you can do for any aftercare is to hold the submissive. They need to feel your warm body around them and holding them. Telling them you care. If they are crying, tell them with words what they mean to you and how proud you are of them. Words are just as important as physical touch, especially if you were harsh with your words in the scene.
After you cool them down by talking to them and holding them, address their wounds…if they have any. If they have blood on any part of their body , make sure to clean that first, making it a part of the process while you say encouraging things. For blood, wipe gently with water, then rub some antibacterial cream on it. For any welts or bruises, use some nice smelling lotion and rub that in. Don’t be afraid to also touch the areas that weren’t hurt, as a reassurance to them that you still find them attractive. Even kissing several body parts with calm the submissive down. Sometimes, before doing all of this, a nice warm bath is good, making sure to massage the submissives scalp.
After taking care of their body, then gently dress them. Dress them in either comfortable clothes or clothes to go out in.
I know some people like to go out to eat and feel pampered after extreme scenes. Others prefer to stay home and cuddle while eating and watching a movie.
Whatever it is you do, make sure you don’t leave the submissive alone. Even when they go to the bathroom and you feel like they are taking too long, ask them how they are doing. This may seem stupid or silly, but this is the only alone time they have had and they might relive the pain they went through. Make sure, that you are prepared to comfort them at any time. After a day or two, they will look back at the experience without any sudden rush of fear, or other emotions.
If you don’t normally spend the night with your submissive, make sure they have someone else sleeping with them. If not, you may just want to stay , even if you sleep in a different room. You don’t want the submissive to have a nightmare without you being there to comfort them.
When you are apart the first time after the scene, make sure to text them every few minutes or so. Know your submissive well enough to tell when they are trying to put on a brave face for you.
Now, I want to say this. Dominants should always be aware of their submissive. What they are doing, how they react, what they need, and what they want. Sometimes, what seems like a normal scene that you guys do, may be more depending on what happened that day to the submissive. Ask them what they did that day, even if you already know. You want to look at their body language.
Do not be surprised or panicked if the submissive seems to be responding in a new way. Simply ask them what is the matter and if they wish to continue. If they do, proceed , knowing you will have to comfort them. If they don’t, make sure you don’t just leave them. Do a little bit of the aftercare and hold them.