Reluctant newbies

I have some friends, or rather, aquaintances who wanted to know how to bring up the topic of exploring and experimenting in their sex life.

It is quite easy really. Just ask them. Don’t wait for the right moment. Be completely honest with yourself and with your partner why you want to explore and what things thrill you sexually. If they happen to be a bit too kinky for your partner then try something that is the least kinky.

Sometimes spankings can be the perfect way to introduce kink in your life. Other times, restraining your partner in a form of bondage can work just as well.

Try, after you and your partner have had some good sex, then suggest different things to them.

For instance if you want to be spanked, “I’ve been naughty for being such a slut for you, hmmmm..and naughty girls must be punished.”

Or if you want to spank your partner the just reverse the I and you.

If you want to be spanked, it is actually better because it is easier to convince someone to slap your ass then to convince them to be slapped.

If your partner is worried and wonders why you want to hurt them , send them here:

Dear sensitive souls,

I feel your concern. I know you are worried. Your beloved partner does not wish to harm you. They wish to heighten your senses. To make you feel tingly in your ass.

Trust your partner, they care for you,  you know they do. Don’t put up a wall. Listen to them. Ask them why they want to spank you. Really think about what it would feel like to have their hands slapping your ass. In some sex positions their whole body is doing that anyway to you.

Ask your partner all the details. Give them your thoughts and concerns and ideas. But most of all, Don’t Shut Them out.

Happy sexing,


The key to everything is communication. 

For those who want to convince someone to spank them, I will only leave you this little trick: do a little dance for your partner and spank your own ass seductively.

For those who have stubborn, nervous, and/or cautious partners send me a message. I will be more than happy to help.
Okay…after posting this I realised that I must address something.

If you are married. Do not go else where to find your Dominant or submissive. You must have married your partner for a reason. Be completely honest with your tastes. Though, I would suggest that couples talk about this before they marry.

If your partner is set against it, don’t push it. Don’t go behind their back either. You chose your partner for a reason. No matter what others may say..your love and commitment to your partner is the most important thing. Love is sacrifice. And you must be willing to give up something that you see as a part of your life. If you have chosen wisely, you will not have to give up anything, or if you do, you find pleasure in what your partner allows you to do.

Do not despair. Love is more powerful than sex. If you do sacrifice, you will fill up that hole with your partners love.

Now, if you are determined to not deny yourself pleasures your partner disapproves of, then I ask that you be cautious. A relationship that is not honest will not last long. At some point your lies will come out and you will be found.

Take care who you give your heart to. Marry for love, passion, and a lifetime friendship.


2 thoughts on “Reluctant newbies

  1. I did a post about spanking a while back. Where I live there was a man who was secretly visiting a Domme in his spare time to receive spankings. He tried to go to his wife, and she labeled him “sick”. He kept seeing the Domme for just his spankings, never having sex with her. The wife found out and told his daughter. Mortified, he leaped off of the highest overpass in the city to his death. Shame…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so sad. His wife , if she truly loved him, should have been more supportive. Even if she thought it “sick” she should have at least “helped” him. But I guess we can confirm that the wife didn’t love him by the fact that she humiliated her husband in such a way.

      Liked by 2 people

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