BDSM and Psychology

In this post I will be talking about why it is good to talk about BDSM, and why some people might be into it.

Let’s start with this: BDSM is not just physical.

If you think that it is just physical, well for one, you have not seen any of my previous posts, and for another, you need to take a step back and think.

Every role you play or type that you are, comes with your own story of how you got there. Not everything is black and white. I mean…50 shades of Grey…

As someone who is interested in anything to do with BDSM, you must always do some research. There are certain things you think you can get away with…like perhaps hold down your partner’s hands so they do not inconvenience you while you pleasure them.

But you can’t.

You have to talk to your partner about it. You do not know where they are coming from. Just because they are okay with one thing does not mean they are okay with another.

Now I am currently just speaking to those who do light BDSM and don’t have contracts and all that fun stuff.

You don’t have to have a contract if you are into BDSM. It is a formality that may be unnecessary in your relationship, however, if you are only getting into a BDSM relationship and not a romantic one, I would highly recommend the contract. Contracts

One of the biggest thing I repeat is communication.

This is because is the most important thing in any kind of relationship. You and your partner need to be on the same page. For each of your own safety.

Now, I would like to go into a bit more detail of why communication is good.

A lot about BDSM is about making some that is considered “bad” or “dangerous”, into something pleasurable.

I know that a lot of people who are into BDSM kind of know what they are into and what they aren’t because they either have known for a really long time or have done the research for it.

However there are always those who do not research. In the relationship their should be at least one person taking the time to look up basic things about BDSM….and look! I’ve written a whole blog about that!!

If you have two people who do not know that much about BDSM, then there are bound to be mistakes. And mistakes in this type of …culture…are not the best. You can do fatal injuries if you do not do your research beforehand. Mentally and physically, you can accidentally put a person in a traumatic experience that my scar them for life. If you do not take care with what you do and are not sensitive about your partner’s needs….well like I said….it is not good.

So…I think you get it…communication is good between you and your partner.

But hey, there are more of us out there. We are all here to support you and help you on your journey. If you can, find a friend or someone online that you can talk to about your sexual interests and what you and your partner want. People online are great! But it is also cool to figure out who else in your community is interested in what your interested in. Try to find a BDSM veteran or professional or someone who knows at least more than you do. Just like with the rest of your life…it is good to bounce ideas off of someone else besides your partner. It can get you out of bad or awkward conversations if you run it by a friend/online person first.

 

Now…..why…why are we into this stuff?

I think I may have talked about it a little, but I personally think each person is individual. There are people who would do BDSM relationships with anyone because it’s a big part of who they are. There are people who would only do BDSM with the partner they are with now, because they love them and they like pleasing their partner. There are people who do not want long term relationships in the romantic way, but love BDSM relationships. There are people who like D/s relationships and others like M/s. And there are so many different categories in BDSM…not everyone likes everything…most people don’t.

So what I can say…if you are curious to know why people are into BDSM, ask them. Don’t be afraid, they are people. Most people in BDSM are normal human beings, and actually a lot calmer about talking about their sexual life than “vanillas”.

If you want to know about how I got into BDSM or if you have other questions just ask in the comments or email me.

 

 

 

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